Recently on his TV show Ryan Tubridy interviewed the current Miss Ireland and two former Miss Irelands. At one point Ryan made a brief passing remark on Miss Universe and Miss Galaxy contests. He was gently chided by Andrea Roche that there was no Miss Galaxy contest. Indeed. Silly boy.
But Ryan had touched on something which had long lurked unspoken in my mind. I've always been interested in Astronomy and hence as a kid I'd been confused by the concept of a Miss World and a Miss Universe contest. I used to wonder that if you won Miss World.....well who are you competing against if you then entered the Miss Universe contest? Aliens? Trust the Yanks to have the arrogance to come up with such a title. So far in the 50 year history of the Miss Universe contest there have been no howls of protest from stunning females on planets orbiting stars such as Sirius, Vega and Betelgeuse - not to mention from planets orbiting the trillions and trillions of other stars. But you could picture a top class American Lawyer fighting a lawsuit with a wealthy eccentric to prove the Miss Universe contest to be a complete scam and totally flaunting the rights of other intelligent females in our massive Universe.
Ryan's mention of a Miss Galaxy might be more sensible. A Miss Solar System would be even better. It's a reasonable bet that there are no beautiful females on our neighbouring planets. Any lower animal life forms won't qualify of course - although come to think of it stick insects might count. Intelligence is a must, but cynics might argue not too much of the stuff to rule out American contestants.
Lastly, can you imagine the hissy fits if Miss Universe and Miss World had to compete for the last 1st Class seat on a plane...
Miss Universe: "Me of course. Clearly my title is better than hers!"
Miss World: "As if! How come I beat you in the Miss World contest?"
Stewardess: "Forget it! Neither of you are getting that seat - my boyfriend is the Air Marshal on this flight and he wants to enjoy his book."